Good for nothing freeloaders....

All these obnoxious kids are coming to my house tonight asking for candy. I keep telling them to get a job. Lazy bums are always looking for hand-outs.

Ah, money... the cause of all the world's problems.

For those keeping track, I'm over my hatred and resentment regarding Shur Fine, but I still have to quit soon. I'm just not making enough money to get myself out of debt at all, let alone have any kind of savings for grad school next year. Here are some disgusting figures:

I need:
to take the PRAXIS series of tests ($255)
to replace my rear tires ($200)
to fix my transmission ($300? $400?)
to pay off my credit card ($1939)
to apply to grad schools ($200)
to start repaying my school loans ($630 between now and next May)

I make about $180 a week at SF. That means that if I don't spend anything on gas, food, or luxuries, and these prices remain fixed (impossible, considering the credit card interest...), it will take me between 5 and 6 months to break even. Which would put my savings by the time I go back to school at between $700 and $1400 (just barely enough to get an apartment, but not pay for tuition).

My plan to make money? First, I have to start substitute teaching. I'm going to just put my name in at all the school districts in Niagara county and maybe even see if I can meet with teachers and get my name out there. If I can somehow get called every day, I'd make more than twice what I get at SF. On top of that, I might get a job waiting tables or something. I know The Village Eatery is looking. Being a waiter, I'd only work at night, so it wouldn't interfere with teaching. And I'd make decent money, counting tips. My life would be hell for a few months, but I'd get my life back on track at least.

I'm going to set the gears in motion this Monday.

Country sinks to a new low...

Jon brought this to my attention today by way of none other than Jake Platt. There is a new country song out there called "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk." Yeah, you read it right. It's by a man called Trace Adkins (pictured), and I get the disturbing impression that he's serious about both his hat and his moustache.

The song is about... well, cowgirls with big butts (for those out of the loop, a badonkadonk is a rotund booty, in the immortal words of Nate "Vanilla Ice" MacFarlane). There is apparently a music video that goes along with it, but I didn't get any results from a Limewire search.

Anyway, I bit the bullet and downloaded the song. It's exactly as bad as you'd expect, given the genre and subject matter. It's in my shared folder on AIM, for the brave.

The Note War

Here's a Shur Fine update: After Jeff, the former night manager, got fired for calling these two cashiers "fucking stupid" (or something to that effect), they moved Joe to all night shifts and Don works mornings. Their schedules never overlap, so they have to leave notes to each other to communicate. These are usually scrawled on a scrap piece of paper and hung on a nail sticking out of the wall. So if Joe has a problem with something someone did, the only for him to tell Don about it is to leave him this note, which of course all the rest of us can see. It's a pretty bad system, but what are you gonna do?

Anyway, the note system recently took a turn for the worse. Joe left one of his usual notes, something like, "I don't know who restocked the paper last time, but they forgot to put up X, and that's really irritating." Maybe it's a little harsh, but no big deal. Today I came in and Don had posted a reply: "Like how Pete didn't pull the Special K from the cereal restock." I can think of at least 3 things that are inappropriate here. 1) Why should Joe care? All restocking is done during the day, so there's no reason for him to even know about it. 2) #1 leads me to believe that the note was not intended for Joe at all, but as a humiliating public correction. 3) I don't know what the hell the note means.

So I left my own note in return. Here's how it went, as closely as I can remember: "Point taken. While we're all writing notes, I'd like to point out that there are more discreet ways of correcting employees. General notices are understandable, but having mistakes pointed out to everyone is unnecessary and irritating." Let's see if I get fired tomorrow...

Finally done with the GRE

I took it today at noon. I actually did better on the math section than on the verbal section, which makes sense. The math section tests your ability to solve problems, and the verbal part measures... your ability to guess at definitions of obscure words taken out of context? That's the best I can come up with.

Anyway, I got a 640 on the math and a 600 on the verbal. It's scored the same as the SAT, so that's a 1240 out of 1600. There was a written part, but I don't have the score yet. Not too bad, but not stellar either. It's good enough to get into almost any school I want to go to, so I don't have to pay another $115 to take it again.

Insurance Fraud?

A few weeks ago Joey and I were shooting the shit at Shur Fine (you like that alliteration?), when in walks Rugger. He started telling us about how he got this job at the new Geico building that just opened in Lockport. While we were on the subject, he told us how much money he saved by switching and advised us both to do the same. Except the amount I was paying Progressive was already less than what he was paying, so I didn't give it another thought.

Lo and behold, the bill came around last month and it was the usual $554 for 6 months. Instead of paying it all at once (I'm trying to stop using my credit card), I just payed for the first month. Today I got another bill from Progressive, and this time I was more reluctant. Money's tight these days, and if I could slim down my insurance payments by even $50 it would go a long way. So I hopped on geico.com and statefarm.com to shop around.

God damn you, Progressive! State Farm gave me a quote of around $400, and Geico wanted an amazing $300. I hate jumping on bandwagons, but I hate paying car insurance even more. I'll take that $250 and put it towards something more useful than... what is it you get with car insurance? Oh yeah, "peace of mind." Well stank you smelly much, but I worry a lot more about being broke than about who I have to deal with if I get in an accident.

If we rip them off it's called "fraud," but they rip us off every month. I implore anyone who reads this to click on the links and go through the online forms. It takes like 10 minutes and you might save yourself a load. Even check Progressive--just because they aren't cheapest for me doesn't mean they won't be for you.

New David Fincher movie

David Fincher, the director of Se7en and Fight Club, is working on a film about the infamous Zodiac Killer. From what I've seen on the Discovery channel, they won't have to make up anything about the case and it'd be the best thriller in years. Keep your eyes out for it.

Here is a San Francisco Chronicle article about Zodiac and the movie.

The Computer Age

Two quick things:

City-wide Wi-fi Networks

In case anyone hasn't noticed, broadband Internet is way more expensive than it has any right to be. Cable and DSL providers are soaking up the profits because they can charge whatever they want and people will pay it because they don't want to use dial-up access. As if that's not bad enough, the cost is rising. It wouldn't surprise me to see it hit $50/mo in the next few years.

Can you imagine an entire city having free wireless Internet? Anyone who has been on a college campus in recent years knows what it's like to be able to hop on a computer anywhere and be able to check your e-mail or whatever. This would be like that, except you'd be able to do that on a city bus, or a park bench. Hell, you could read a digital newspaper on a public toilet.

It could cost you $20/mo to get it in your home, which is still way cheaper than what you're probably paying now. Broadband could finally be the minimum standard, folks.


MIT's $100 Computer

MIT is developing a rugged laptop computer that it plans to mass-produce and sell in bulk to ministries of education for $100 each. Then they'll be distributed to every student in school. We're not talking about just the rich schools doing this, either. The goal is to give a laptop computer to every kid in the world. Pretty ambitious, but what a great idea! Check out some of the features they have planned for this bad boy:

Linux-based
Wi-Fi and cell phone enabled
peer-to-peer mesh network (your computer connects to other computers)
USB ports galore
hand-crank generator, providing 10min of power per 1m of cranking
carrying strap that converts into an A/C adaptor & cord)
full-color monitor that converts to B&W to reduce glare in direct sunlight

For more, check out the link above. They have pictures and lots of information. This is about the democratization of information!

Suck Fine (ouch!)

As most of you probably know, after an agonizing and fruitless summer of looking for a job I was forced to take a job at the local grocery store, Shur Fine. It saved me from a total fiscal meltdown, but every minute I spend working there kills me a little bit. Don't get me wrong, I love (most of) the people I work with; Jon, Joe, Ron, Jake, Chaz, Aaron, and especially Ray provide me with endless mirth. But every can I touch makes me shudder. Every time I cut open a box I feel like slashing open my own wrists. I want to throw plastic bottles at the sadists who bring them in by the hundreds in big black garbage bags.

As if performing these tasks for virtually no money wasn't bad enough, there was a strongly worded NOTICE stapled to my paycheck this week. I think everyone at the bottom got one, since it appears to be photocopied. In broken English typical of Shur Fine, it offers such criticisms as, "When shocking shelf item are to be put in proper spot's." I agree with the English version of that statement, along with most of the other corrections. Basically, stuff should go where it belongs, and litter should be cleaned up. I already do a decent job in that respect, but whatever, I'll keep an eye out. But the final two items on the notice I find highly offensive.

First, it says "Buddy system ENDS NOW." Never, I say. In a given 7 hour shift there are only about 2 hours of actual work to be done. The hardest part about the job is learning the snail-like pace required to actually fill the day. So what better way to fill some time than mingling with the guys? At least then we won't all be in a miserable mood when we have to talk to a customer. And like I said, joking around with the other guys who work there is the only thing keeping me sane. Working without the buddy system is like solitary confinement. I'd blow my brains out." If this actions are not corrected people will be looking for new jobs," the notice warns. Way ahead of you, Shur Fine. I don't value your $5.34 an hour* more than my own sanity/life.

To top it all off, the note ends by blindly accusing everyone of eating and drinking items that haven't been paid for. According to the note, "I have a good idea who you are! Keep it up and you will be GONE!" The first sentence is a lie, because if they did know who it was then they would talk to/fire the person they suspected. As for the second sentence, stealing has always been against store policy. I guess maybe this is just a reminder. If anything, this note should encourage the thief to keep up the good work. Your system is working, thief. For the record, I haven't stolen anything from the store, so I find it pretty insulting to be accused of it, especially in such a threatening way.

I'll do your dirty work and gratefully accept the smallest paycheck you're legally allowed to give me each week, but don't accuse me of things and threaten to take it all away like it's a prize on Let's Make a Deal. If it was it'd be one of the joke prizes like a straw hat (see right).







*actual wages after taxes